


The Trials of Taking Care of Baby Lucifer

by Adverb_Sluts_Archive (Adverb_Slut)



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23799853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adverb_Slut/pseuds/Adverb_Sluts_Archive
Summary: When Mammon accidentally casts a spell from one of Satan's most arcane books, Lucifer is turned into a baby.  The remaining six brothers must take care of this precocious yet absolutely adorable infantandtake over the duties of being the firstborn demon, until they can reverse the curse or until it wears off ... whichever comes first.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	The Trials of Taking Care of Baby Lucifer

**Author's Note:**

> This requested on Tumblr and I finally wrote it and decided to write it here as well!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mammon ... does the opposite of saving the day.

“Heyo, there's my fave lil’ bro,” Mammon sang as he slouched over Satan, who was reading a book in his bedroom. Ignoring the Avatar of Wrath’s irritated flinch, he wheedled on, “Whatcha readin’?” He tapped on the cover. “Looks interestin.’”

Not looking up from his book, Satan rolled his eyes and said, “I’m not giving you any more money. Settle your own debts.”

Knowing in advance that Satan wouldn’t fall for his honeyed words, Mammon had come prepared to beg. “ _Please_?” he whined, dragging out the word so long that Satan was forced to swat him away.

“You already owe me ninety-four thousand Grimm, so until you pay me back, you’re _not_ getting any more,” Satan replied, his voice monotone, even though it hinted at a hidden, dangerous wrath.

Annoyed with this development, Mammon shook his head and began to wander around his brother’s library of a bedroom. There were thousands of books stacked haphazardly in towers when the miles of shelf space that adorned the walls were taken up, and even then, more tomes adorned the surfaces of the preppy furniture. The air was thick with the scent of paper reams and ink, and Mammon’s mouth watered at the slight aroma of the half-eaten apple pie that rested on Satan’s bedside table. 

He meandered toward the darkest corner in Satan’s room, knowing it was where his brother kept his rarest and most costly books. “Well,” he muttered under his breath, “if ya won’t give me any money, I guess I’m gonna have to employ the good-ol’ five-finger-discount.” Mammon turned around to ensure that Satan was still engrossed in his book and then ran his fingers down the shelf.

Each book was _easily_ worth at least four hundred thousand Grimm, and his eyes widened at some of the prized titles. _How to Call Up From the Depths of Hell, A Lovecraftian Horror So Frightening That It Will Eviscerate Any Firstborn Demon Out of Sheer Terror_ and _The Cutest Liddle Kitties of Devilgram_ were two that seemed promising. But, before he could reach out and grab one of the two, something sparkly at the end of the shelf caught his eye. 

After checking that Satan’s attention was diverted once more, Mammon tiptoed toward the sparkle and saw that it came from the gilded spine of a certain book. He raised an eyebrow when he realized that he was unable to read the title, as it was entirely covered in dust. Blowing it off, he sighed when he realized it read _The Tome of Arcane Curses and Hexes From When Evil Was Still New_ and rolled his eyes. Satan owned _tons_ of curse books like this one, so why the _heck_ was this in his _rare_ collection? 

Nevertheless, he was drawn to its shiny spine and pulled it out of its spot on the shelf. A plume of dust went up as he did so, and although he felt an overwhelming need to cough, he choked it down, for he was still hyperaware of his brother reading close by.

Upon further examination, he realized that the book’s cover was golden as well, and from the grime that had built up on the edges of the pages, it was easy to see that the tome was _ancient._ Mammon flipped through it, impressed to see that upon the thick, creamy paper was written thousands of incantations, each illustrated with a richly-colored, smudgy, oil pastel drawing. He nodded appreciatively; his expert appraisal skills deemed that indeed, this book would sell for a _fortune._

He flipped to another page. On the right side was a hex entitled _The Return of Young Blood_ , and on the left was the image of an old man.

Most demons could instinctively read Latin, as it was the language that many evil incantations were written, and Mammon was no exception. After scanning the Latin words written in curly ink on the page, he laughed, for the spell was hardly the “ancient evil” that the tome had promised. Forgetting he was not alone, he curiously began to mutter the incantation aloud: “ _O antiquis est magnus es tu quoque annos numerare / Ad ab adolescentia tua bibebant autem de fonte leporum_ —”

“I’d put that down if I were you.”Satan’s sudden command nearly caused Mammon to jump out of his skin. 

He turned around to see the Avatar of Wrath in his full demon form, with a pretentious smile on his face.

Mammon rolled his eyes and tightened his hold on the book. “Yo, what’s the big deal? It’s not like I actually stole it or anythin.’”

“Oh, you’re going to have much a bigger problem on your hands than stealing my book, if you finish reciting that incantation,” Satan soothed. He walked toward Mammon and placed a finger on the page. “This spell causes the oldest demon in a room to revert back to when they were an infant, and considering that _you’re_ the eldest here, that would mean _you_ would be …” 

Mammon gulped when he saw the malicious gleam in Satan’s eyes and took a step back.

Satan continued, “On second thought, Mammon, since you want to act like such a child all the time, perhaps you _should_ finish the incantation. Then you’d actually be acting your age.” He took a menacing step forward, and Mammon matched him by taking another one back. “Come on, Mammon, finish the spell.”

“F—fuck off, Satan,” Mammon said. He cursed himself for stuttering. “I ain’t gonna say shit if the spell’s gonna do _that_.”

Another step. “Finish _it_. If you wanted so badly to poke around my things, then you should have been prepared to deal with the consequences.” One more step and Satan’s feathery boa tickled Mammon’s shoulder, and he could feel his younger brother’s wrathful breaths on his face. “ _Finish the spell_ , Mammon. Or I’ll do it for you.”

Mammon gulped and returned his eyes back to the spellbook. “ _Et confitetur Ecclesia caelestis Occidentem ad infernum demergeris_ —”

As he was about to finish the last syllables of the incantation, Lucifer walked in, saying, “Ah, Mammon. Levi said you’d be in here. I’ve got the check you asked for—”

However, Mammon didn’t notice his brother walk in and finished the spell: “— _magam in monte_.”

Suddenly, a bright blue haze of smoke appeared over Lucifer by the doorway. Before Mammon or Satan could react, their brother disappeared, and the pair rushed toward where he had been standing. 

“Oh, crap,” Mammon whispered nervously.

Where Lucifer had just stood, laid a tiny baby with a mop of black hair and piercing dark eyes. He wore a smart navy onesie and his fist was wedged entirely in his mouth. Strangely enough, he stared up at the two brothers with accusing eyes, as if even as a baby, he knew who had put him in such a situation.

Satan grinned. “Well, this went better than I ever could have hoped."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So the spell that Mammon read is _supposed_ to read:
> 
> _Oh, ancient one, you are of years too great to count.  
>  Return to your youth by drinking of the fount,  
> and sing your praises to the Witch of the Celestial West upon Hades' Mount._
> 
> But of course, since I used Google Translate to translate that into Latin, it says ... something completely and utterly different. Oh well!
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter should be up soon!


End file.
